"Sprechen zie Deutch?" I asked the stranger

from the abandoned armchair beside the road.

He said, "Don't you even speak to me,

you slimey little toad."

I replied "Toad's skin is dry,

and it will not cause you warts."

"You fail to realize" he said

"my name is John Boarts?"

I said "I once knew someone

who's father was named John Boarts.

His father was named the same as his son.

We called him little John Boarts."

"He carried cigarettes, knives, and chains,

and threatened everybody."

John Boarts answered "That would be me.

Now give me all your money."

I only had seventeen dollars,

and sixteen of that was change.

I asked him how many days were in February,

and if he thought it was going to rain.

He replied "I've heard enough.

Get ready to feel some pain."

Then I realized John Boarts was me.

I was just mistaken about the name.